Author: aarblack

Father’s Day

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

My dad is no longer with us. I lost him back in 2013. Ours was a love, hate relationship. Maybe hate is too strong a word. Maybe dislike might work better. Yet I miss hearing his voice and calling him dad when I went home. I’d feel like a kid again and I think he still enjoyed playing the father even though I was a grown man.

Dad worked all the time in order to sustain our family, and it bothered me because he never got to play football with me, attend my school plays, give me driving lessons, or attend sports day at school. It was not till I grew to be an adult that I understood, that it was not possible for him to be there just because I wanted him to be. Him working was what was keeping me in a very good school.

My father was a proud and driven man, energetic yet stubborn, unpredictable but loyal, generous and gentle. A man of simple but practical needs. I once asked him if he had any dreams he didn’t accomplish. He said no. I just wanted to take care of his family. Which he did for fifty-plus years until that bond was severed. He died on the 23rd day of the month, the same as my mother, though different years. Somehow I don’t think the timing was coincidental.

My last days spent with him were bitter-sweet. Maybe his illness had created this Jekyll and Hyde personality that could switch moods at any moment. I try now to focus on the joys. He could be unpredictably funny, and so were his questions that were blunt with no softening beforehand. I think he loved me. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he liked me instead and disliked me when it suited him. There were moments when I knew he was proud of me and that had to suffice for not hearing the words ‘I love you.’

Juneteenth

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

JuneTeenth is now a federal holiday but at least half the states in this nation have not made it an official state holiday. President Biden only signed this holiday into law in 2021. It is celebrated because of the final release of slaves in Galveston Texas in June of 1865. However, there were still people enslaved in Texas and other states after this date.

As a black person, I’m torn if this day should be celebrated considering it was releasing black people from being property. True, it was an end of a brutal era but just like the reason behind Memorial Day, are these holidays to be celebrated? In America, we’ve grown accustomed to celebrating a brutal history instead of commemorating it.

We have the barbecues, the shop sales, etc and we may have special church ceremonies, which in my mind seems a more appropriate way to celebrate it. I guarantee that most people do not look at the true meaning of our holidays, to be honest, I know I don’t. We just see it as a day off to see family or friends, drink, smoke, dance and have a good time. Have we normalized the reality of what our ancestors went through to eat a burger?

We have commercialized days that should be held in reverence. I wonder what our ancestors think as they look at us celebrating their deaths. I know my feelings won’t change things much but at least I have the thought, and hope this will inspire you to look into how this holiday came about.

A Brief Obsession

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

This is the cover of my new short story that I intend to publish in the coming weeks. It is titled A Brief Obsession. It’s a departure from what I usually write, which is romance or contemporary stories. This is urban infused with erotica. I get to break the rules here and use slang, cuss words, and graphic sexual descriptions.

Urban fiction covers usually have big-breasted, big-assed women and thug men with muscles and attitude. That is what I got from the first draft by the cover designer whom I’d hired. I hated it. He obviously didn’t listen to my detailed instructions on what I wanted. I had to remind him to reread my original notes and give him further instructions on what was lacking in the draft he’d sent me. I even sent him stock pictures to give him an idea of what I wanted. He ended up using one of those pictures and made adjustments to create the scene I wanted for the cover.

What you see here is what he came up with and it was a lot better than the original draft. I didn’t want to spend much on this project because this is a very short story. I wanted the cover to not be too stereotypical yet at the same time still have those elements that you see frequently on urban novel covers.

I mentioned earlier that I get to break the rules in this story. I do but only to a point. This is still a well-written, thought-out story that will cause a reaction when read because of the powerful issues that it deals with. This is also a story about a man and a woman, not a man and a man.

This story will be released on Amazon. It is a cheap, quick read that will leave you with a bitter-sweet aftertaste because of the serious content it contains.

Tina Turner died

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

Tina Turner died today May 24th 2023. She was 83 years old. She’d been suffering from long standing illnesses. At this time no cause of death was given. Tina was truly one of the greats. A woman with a musical talent that crossed genres and conquered them. She is a true Icon that overcame horrible adversities in her life to true success and peace. I grew up listening to her music, especially when she re-emerged as a solo artist. I’ve always admired this woman’s spirit and relentless drive to survive. Her life I’m sure, has inspired many others who were in her shoes. Wherever her spirit has moved on to I wish her Godspeed.

BOY UNDONE

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

My book BOY UNDONE is a gay love story about unrequited love, obsession and loyalty.

Isaiah meets Aidan on a hot summer night and is immediately infatuated by his looks and intense personality. As their romance progresses, Isaiah overlooks the red flags in Aidan’s behavior. Blinded by the promise of love, which soon turns to heartbreak and obsession, he uncovers troubling details about Aidan’s past that could destroy them both.

Purchase on Amazon: ow.ly/SOz150B6A9J

Michael J Fox

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

I recently watched an episode of The View with actor Michael J Fox as a guest. Mr. Fox has Parkinson’s disease and it’s severe. He was constantly shaking and his words were difficult to understand. While my heart goes out to him, why did his disability make me feel uncomfortable? I think, maybe It was difficult to watch him because of the pain or discomfort he must be going through. Then again he’s been dealing with this for thirty years, maybe he’s gotten used to it. Our bodies have an amazing way of adapting but then I don’t know for a fact about his current state.

A psychic once told me that I was a paraplegic in a recent pass life. He said that is why I feel uncomfortable but empathetic looking at people with disabilities because I still carry that pain and judgement from society that disregarded me. I don’t know if this is considered a phobia, which can be associated with early or pass-life trauma (if you believe in past lives) but it certainly seems to make sense.

I wish Mr Fox continued success in all his endeavors including the raising of incredible amounts of money towards research on Parkinson’s disease.

Journaling

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

I recently resumed writing in my journal after being inconsistent for a while. It is cathartic experience for me to write my private thoughts for my consumption. Sometimes I wonder why I even do this if it’s only for my eyes to see, especially as I’m a writer and share stories with the world. It took me years to realize that it is a form of self-care, just like meditation, exercise or healthy eating.

I must admit it concerns me if someone else was to read my journal, when I’m not around or dead. What will they think of me? Words can be so misconstrued from person to person so I try to be as concise as I can. I feel sometimes like I’m writing a memoir for someone else’s consumption instead of this private therapy for me. I still have to work on the guilt I feel when I say things that would cause others to judge me. I have to remember that this is for me and no-one else. Stop trying to please others.

There are days when I have little to say and end up writing about boring topics like what I may have done that day. There are days when something significant is happening on the news or the world, that I get to record how I received the breaking news. A kind of ‘where were you when…?’

Journaling is not for everyone but I’d encourage you to try it to see if it’s a fit. You’ll know if it isn’t, especially if you’re not consistent with it. I will say in closing, that it is a cheap way to learn about who you are instead of sitting on a therapist couch.

AutoCrit

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

I’m about to purchase this amazing writing software which will help me in my editing process of my books. It will point out grammatical errors, frequent repetitions, changes in point-of-view, dialogue, pacing and many more features that will strengthen my writing and make my editors job a lot easier.

American Idol

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

I haven’t watched this show in years but the other night I was channel surfing and stopped when I heard this girl sing on American Idol. Her name is We Ani and she’s from Harlem NY. Her speaking voice sounds like Minnie Mouse, reminding me of Macy Gray but when she sings the transformation is magical. The girl can ‘sang’. She has a beautiful tone, range and versatility in song genres. I wish her luck in winning on this show because they have a habit of eliminating true talent. Let’s hope someone signs and creates a career for her like Jennifer Hudson.

BREAKING NEWS: They eliminated her when it was left to the last three finalist. Twitter was in an uproar saying she was robbed, and I agree. They may have done her a favor. She won’t have to commit to some limited contract American Idol will tie her to and instead be a free agent to be picked up by a record label that values true talent.

Mother’s Day

/ aarblack / Leave a comment

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there. Unfortunately, my mother is no longer on the planet. She was a smart, shrewd woman who was a bit of a trailblazer in her time. I miss going home to see her, calling her mom, and being the son again even as an adult. Rest in Power Mom.